Jokes thread...

[Buko Pandan]

Guy 1: Hey man, you seem lost in thought.

Guy 2: I have a dream last night, I was with the 50 contestants of Miss Universe.

Guy 1: Oh man! what a nice dream, you're surrounded by beautiful women, you're so lucky! So what's the problem?

Guy 2: Dude I was the winner of the pageant.
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A policeman along with his sketch artist assistant asks for the description of the suspect from a witness.

Policeman: What's the suspect looked like?

Witness: He wears an orange colored outfit and his hair was blonde, sir.

Sketch Artist Assistant: (Draws.......) Chief, I think , we won't be able to catch this guy.

Policeman: And why is that?

Sketch Artist Assistant: Well the witness said, his hair was blonde and he wears orange colored clothes. If this is not Naruto , this might be Son Goku.

[vnctdj]

(11-19-2013 06:22 AM)Buko Pandan Wrote:  A policeman along with his sketch artist assistant asks for the artist sketch of the suspect from a witness.

Policeman: What's the suspect looked like?

Witness: He wears an orange outfit and had a blonde hair, sir.

Sketch Artist Assistant: (Draws.......) Chief, I think , we won't be able to catch this guy.

Policeman: And why is that?

Sketch Artist Assistant: Well the witness said, he had a blonde hair and he wears orange. If this is not Naruto , this might be Son Goku.

[Ritori]

(11-19-2013 02:56 PM)vnctdj Wrote:  

(11-19-2013 06:22 AM)Buko Pandan Wrote:  A policeman along with his sketch artist assistant asks for the artist sketch of the suspect from a witness.

Policeman: What's the suspect looked like?

Witness: He wears an orange outfit and had a blonde hair, sir.

Sketch Artist Assistant: (Draws.......) Chief, I think , we won't be able to catch this guy.

Policeman: And why is that?

Sketch Artist Assistant: Well the witness said, he had a blonde hair and he wears orange. If this is not Naruto , this might be Son Goku.

LOL you got my smile there

[arg274]

I hated DBZ ; BUT LOVED THAT JOKE. @Buko
haha

[GuilhermeGS2]

God and the devil were in a competition to see who writes more fast, the devil was typing faster, while God typed much of wandering ... suddenly the electricity over and turns off the computers, who won??

A: God, because only God saves ...

PS: God was the only One that saved the file.

[stodag]

A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a bitch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued."

The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you."

He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?"

The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yeah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"

[Buko Pandan]

Patient: Doc, What's my condition?

Doctor: Try coughing first.

Patient: *Cough* *Cough*

Doctor: Do it again.

Patient: *Cough* *Cough* so doc, can you tell what's wrong with me?

Doctor: You have a cough.

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An earthworm has five hearts, an octopus has three hearts, while a human has only one. So if you make love with more than one person, then look onto wikipedia to find out what kind of animal you are.

[globe94]

haha..

[Ritori]

everyone got a good joke

[vnctdj]

(11-19-2013 08:04 PM)stodag Wrote:  A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a bitch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued."

The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you."

He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?"

The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yeah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"

&

(11-20-2013 03:27 AM)Buko Pandan Wrote:  Patient: Doc, What's my condition?

Doctor: Try coughing first.

Patient: *Cough* *Cough*

Doctor: Do it again.

Patient: *Cough* *Cough* so doc, can you tell what's wrong with me?

Doctor: You have a cough.

are my favorites

[stodag]

Thx vnctdj my favorite is the one about the guy orderin 3 beers etc.. on last page, mine lmao

[ZeroX4]

so guys i wanted to tell you a joke but since my english iis bad well i can communicate with you all but i dont know many words and when i tell you a joke i think it end up sound not funny

so well im old i hope some of you remember NES Nintendo Entertainment System 1st nintendo console

in use thats what you call it but in EU we had pirated version of it i think from japans famicon called pegasus any way there was many pirated games that just miss match what was on the cartridge with what was on the box and so yesterday i was looking if on polish (im from poland) version of ebuy there are some pegasus consoles to buy and thats what i found

im 27 years old and still i was crying laughing yesterday when i seen that
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[Alika]

Sardar wife:
If I died, so you get married.
Wife:
I would not want to live with my sister.
Wife:
If I died, so you get married.
Sardar:
I'll also stay with your sister.

[stodag]

My mate came from a broken home, his dad was a shocker at DIY.

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer

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We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public

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My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch

[stodag]

Can ppsspp emulate vita?..lol