Birthday Thread

[arg274]

Well today's my birthday and i still feel sad...not because that i dont have a gf,actually there are some other reasons too,you know and they are killing me to pieces.
I used to be happy fellow once,had a few friends and so on.but things started to change this year.i began to understand that they were not my true friends afterall.they were just hankering before me for their own causes and benefits.at the beginning of the year,i had about 5 so called 'friends' of mine,but now only four.one of them turned his back against me only because i had spoken the cruel truth that he cheated in the exam (about 15 marks,which is a long number).he defied me in such a way that seems like being the substitute of killing me.one month had passed and we didnt even have a single chat like 'hi,hello' and whatsoever and this rage,this anger is still going on.i am left with 4 only.but whats the guarantee of those guys?one day,even they will turn their backs against me,what will i do then?i may seem like a happy man in the forum,but in terms of reality,im not.im going through serious mental depression which is tearing me into bits...sometimes it makes me think that i want scream aloud to get rid of a situation like this,but i cant,i cant run away from my problems.im just like a cornered rat.not only that,i also cant seem to remember the last time i went on an outing(probably 3 years).can this be the life of a 15 year aged boy?really,this cruelty makes me sick!despite having all these issues i used to drive them away using my psp which i loved more than my fake friends.my psp was really my true friend,but it died recently...you can clearly see whats happening to me through analysing my old posts and my recent posts,im talking ridiculous things nowadays.thats because this is the only life i have now,in this small piece of forum in where i can have a little fun.only the virtuality is keeping me alive,my real world is.....ruined.
Sorry about making this thread lengthy,but i couldnt help myself.the problem is that no one here understands me.yeah,its a common problem but he who suffers from it knows how it feels...
And thats why i wanted a gf so that i could share the sad moments with someone,nothing else...